It’s Everything

My wife and I have been married for three years now, we dated for 9 years and I can honestly say I have loved every minute of it. It’s true I am very very lucky. I remember early on while we were dating and talking about our lives before we meet each other we realized that we had been at the same concerts and other venues and never ran into each other. That’s when she told me it’s all about timing.

She was right timing is very important.

Timing is everything with relationships.

Rashida Jones
Photo by Andrey Grushnikov on Pexels.com

I have lived through some stretches in life where it has felt like I have had the timing off. Just a little to soon or a tad to late however looking back even those moments where I was “off” were not wasted. I needed to fail and not get the jobs I applied for so that I could learn more and get to where I am now.

It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.

Bill Gates

My failures have taught me to understand when the right moments are and that the moment that matters the most is the moment that we are all in right now.

be mindful of the future but not at the expense of the moment

Qui Gon Jinn

Make today the best day you possibly can and if it is not working out just remember… chances are high that your timing could be off.

Killing time

Trauma is a rough thing for everyone. When trauma happens to a group like a family the survivors of the trauma face a lifetime of guilt.

There is a new tv series that I am in love with named Silo. The tv series is based on the book trilogy named WOOL and if you are not watching this you should start great series. In the show Silo a young girl lost her mother, and little brother. The girl escapes her life with her father to work as a mechanic. Her father finds her and asks if she is happy

Are you happy here? I start work hours before the lights cycle to day. I eat lunch standing up. And if I’m lucky, I get a half-an-hour break. Every night, I am exhausted. I fall asleep before my head hits the cot. Are you happy, Juliette? I’m happy I really don’t have time to think about Mom or Jacob.

Silo Season 1 episode 4

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Work is often a way to cope and deal with trauma for many people however it does not seem to be a healthy way to deal with trauma or loss. Often times the best thing to do is get professional help when dealing with trauma or loss. The emotions surrounding trauma and loss are huge and life changing and shouldn’t be avoided or faced alone. There is no shame in reaching out for help.

Facing our feelings head on is scary but it is also healthy and good for a our mental health. Avoidance makes the trauma and loss worse and can do damage to our mental health.

Facing our demons is not easy but it is possible.

If you or someone you know needs help and live in the United States they can reach out to

https://friendsforsurvival.org/

or call

(916) 392-0664

Toll Free: (800) 646-7322

The most important thing is that they/you get help and in a healthy way work through this.

What does that mean??

Daily writing prompt
Are you a leader or a follower?

I sat in a meeting with three other managers and the director and read the document twice while the meeting went on. I could hear the Director read through the document but I was stuck on one sentence that I didn’t understand.

The manager will cultivate a leader to leader environment.

“What is a leader to leader environment?” I asked and was answered with, “I don’t know.” I left the meeting on a mission. I needed to know what leader to leader meant. I found out and my mission ended with a book that the Director had all the managers read.

The book is called “Turn the Ship Around” by David Marquet. Basically the writer outlines his experience as a leader of a submarine. He realized that he could not have a crew that would just listen and follow every order that would be dangerous and he had to cultivate leaders at every level.

So I told that story and mentioned a pretty great book (it really is good and worth reading) to say that I am a leader and a follower and everyone should be. There was this quote when I was a kid that always bugged me.

Too many chiefs

Leadership is guidance, inspiration, motivation, and leadership has to come from within. There is this concept of “buy in” that everyone on team needs to have for a project to be completely successful. Buy in is the willingness to participate in an endeavor. No one can force buy in from a team member this has to be inspired and motivated.

Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com

Leaders are needed at every level in a team and the top level should be more of a position of service for all other levels that are the leaders.

I have also heard “Lead follow or get out of the way” Lets change this to Lead yourself and help others.

That is what I will be hearing all day now

Daily writing prompt
What does freedom mean to you?

I won’t let you down
I will not give you up
Gotta have some faith in the sound
It’s the one good thing that I’ve got

Freedom
Freedom
Freedom
You’ve gotta give
For what you take

Freedom
Freedom
Freedom
You’ve gotta give
For what you take

I loved all the George Michaels songs growing up and now the song Freedom is going to be stuck in my head all day. Freedom! Freedom! Man such a good song.

Freedom is pretty interesting concept. I was 17 years old when I decided I wanted freedom from my parents tyrannical rule (total joke there I had it made honestly, dad and mom only bugged me when I got out of line otherwise they supported me 100 %), looking for freedom from the parents and the town I grew up oin I joined the US Army.

I was told when to wake up, when to eat, when to go to sleep, where and how to do all that as well, so not much freedom. I finished up my contract with the US Army and entered the civilian world a free man. A free man with a family and bills to pay. To pay the bills I got a job and started school. The workplace bosses told me when to arrive at work when I could eat and how to do that.


No one is truly free, they are a slave to wealth, fortune, the law, or other people restraining them from acting according to their will.

Euripides
Photo by Min An on Pexels.com

At one point in my career I had a very long commute that involved getting on and off the highway. Everyday at an intersection I would see a person with a cardboard sign asking for money. I felt bad for this person and if I had any cash I would try to give it to him.

There is legislation popping up now all over the United States that has made it illegal to be homeless. The cost of not working in a capital society seems to be homelessness and relying on others who are working or living “off the gird” like Thoreau did while writing Walden. Making it illegal to live this way seems to be an infringement of freedom.

For me freedom is the ability for me to make a choice and live with it.

After that first cup

Daily writing prompt
When do you feel most productive?

My favorite place to be is anywhere my wife is, other than those places I truly enjoy the grocery store or market right after the store or market has first opened up. There is a fresh feeling in the air. All the vendors have their food and wares out for purchase and the most fresh, ripe and best are prominently displayed. The employees are well rested and the food is freshly picked and washed. The grocery store or market is great in the early morning. There is hope that comes from seeing and buying something that was just harvested.

My favorite time of the day is the morning. I love that hopeful fresh feeling. At work when I can, I try to get most of my “hard” work done in the morning. I drink my coffee and attack the day. After morning is over the rest of the day is spent helping others and getting ready for tomorrow.

After my first cup of coffee I can do anything! Oh and so can you!

More than 5 Less than 7

The six word story is something I became interested in as of yesterday. The six word story is that.. a story told in just six words. For fun go ahead and Google (love how this word is now a verb or even a word at all), six word story examples. You are in for a treat my friend.

The most famous six word story is a bit of a bummer and attributed to Ernest Hemmingway, not sure if he actually wrote it but here is the story;

“For sale: baby shoes. Never worn.”

Powerful but a complete bummer, right? I tried to remember a six word story that was more up beat and I came up with a lyric from a Jay Z song;

“I came, I saw I conquered”

I like that. I hope this can be said for your day today and mine to. I tired to think of a good six word story to encourage anyone reading this and I came up with this;

“Make Today Better for everyone meet”

Look I am no Hemmingway. I found a master class on six word stories and this gem was in the class;

Google: how to inflate a liferaft!

Ha, got to love dark humor! I think I like the idea of six word story because it is making an impression in six words. Less is always more. Words are wonderful but too many words are counter productive. Action for others service is what speaks the loudest and makes the biggest difference in your own life and your communities. On that note I will leave with my most recent six word story.

“Words; less than action be more”

The last two weeks

For the last two week my wife and I were on vacation. My cousin, his wife and two kids let us stay in their spare bedroom and just have a great time. Thanks Tim and Stefania you two are the best!

The vacation gave my wife and I time to rest, recharge and reconnect.

In 1926 Henry Ford used labor and the automated assembly line to build cars. While his employees worked H4enry researched it was through this research that the 40 hour work week was discovered. That is right the forty hour work seek was optimal in 1926 for auto workers to be the most efficient employees and is now being used for almost every business sector in the world in 2023. That’s pretty wild when you think about it right?

With the changes to the modern workplace there is a movement underway for a 6 hour work day and in Sweden researchers have discovered that a six hour work day boosts the employees productivity, energy and happiness when compared with an 8 hour work day.

Maybe it is time for some big names like Henry Ford to work for getting a 30 hour work week instead of 40 hour work week. This new schedule should be a win win for everyone. I am however not holding my breath. In the United States of America there is a bill for the 32 hour work week, however this bill seems to be stalled. With knowledge and some empathy this bill may make it through.

Until we do get the 32 hour work week and even after I would certainly advise that everyone take at least one two week vacation a year.

Even the little ones

Big ideas, big projects and new times. I have two ideas that today have become projects for me. Before today the projects were just ideas but I made two small steps that transformed those ideas into tangible items projects. I have a whole bunch of steps to take before the projects are fully manifested but.. I want to celebrate!

When you are involved in a project, it is important to celebrate the small steps. Small steps matter a lot. Small steps lead to bigger steps and then victory.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

Lao Tzu

Here is a great article that outlines the importance of the small steps.

Know this today is the day to take the first (even if it is small) step towards starting and completing the project that you will finish. One more thing to note, when you complete and while you are completing that first step on your major project I am cheering for you from the cheap seats.

Go insert your name here! You are crushing this!!

Me (in the cheap seats)

That’s nice

Just the other day I finished a task that was assigned to me in one of the software programs used by my team at work. After finishing each task the software plays a gif that has confetti exploding and I have to admit it makes me feel kind of good. The software we use is Monday dot com. Monday is project management software and uses project boards and to do lists. To do lists are powerful hacks that, when used properly make us very productive.

The reason that lists are considered a hack is because of dopamine. Dopamine is a chemical that the brain releases and makes us feel good. Dopamine helps move signals in our nervous system. A healthy happy person will have an appropriate level of dopamine in their body. When we cross off a list item and see confetti we trigger a dopamine release in our brains. Other ways to trigger the release of dopamine are, eating foods that are high in magnesium and tyrosine as well as engaging in healthy habits that make us happy like exercise meditation family time and petting a happy pet. Checking off things from a to do list is probably one of the closet things we can do at work that resembles petting a happy well behaved dog.

Photo by bin Ziegler on Pexels.com

Besides dopamine, lists offer focus. So until we can bring our dogs to work I will stick with my to do list. No if they allow me I would bring in my four legged friend and keep the to do list.

Photo by MART PRODUCTION on Pexels.com

Without them

Women are the reason everyone is here on earth right now. It’s true through birth women bring human life to earth. Women rock, I was raised by a strong woman and have had the guidance and support of strong women in my family and friend group for my whole life.

Today is International Women’s day and we should of course take the time to celebrate and thank the women in our lives but we should also adhere to and promote this years IWD theme which is Embrace Equity.

Equity is fairness and impartiality. There is a major difference between equity and equality, equality provides men and woman equal pay (this is not currently happening) equity is providing every worker what they need to be successful. Often, women are the primary care care providers for families and because of this role many women may need (as well as equal pay) flexible schedules or childcare provisions and support and understanding from colleagues.

I am willing to bet that among my two readers of this post there is not a person who can change women’s pay in their workplace or their schedule however there are probably, among my tow readers, at least one person who works with a woman. As a colleague you can be a voice and an advocate and a help. For our women coworkers we should be willing to sacrifice and help bring equity to the workplace. Working around their schedules and in rare and extreme circumstances when we can sacrificing our personal time for women in the workplace.

These actions and advocacy will help influence the culture and ultimately change the workplace and maybe the nation. Do you believe it? I do, but let’s all work towards equity and see if it’s true.

Again happy IWD 23!!!