It’s Everything

My wife and I have been married for three years now, we dated for 9 years and I can honestly say I have loved every minute of it. It’s true I am very very lucky. I remember early on while we were dating and talking about our lives before we meet each other we realized that we had been at the same concerts and other venues and never ran into each other. That’s when she told me it’s all about timing.

She was right timing is very important.

Timing is everything with relationships.

Rashida Jones
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I have lived through some stretches in life where it has felt like I have had the timing off. Just a little to soon or a tad to late however looking back even those moments where I was “off” were not wasted. I needed to fail and not get the jobs I applied for so that I could learn more and get to where I am now.

It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.

Bill Gates

My failures have taught me to understand when the right moments are and that the moment that matters the most is the moment that we are all in right now.

be mindful of the future but not at the expense of the moment

Qui Gon Jinn

Make today the best day you possibly can and if it is not working out just remember… chances are high that your timing could be off.

Killing time

Trauma is a rough thing for everyone. When trauma happens to a group like a family the survivors of the trauma face a lifetime of guilt.

There is a new tv series that I am in love with named Silo. The tv series is based on the book trilogy named WOOL and if you are not watching this you should start great series. In the show Silo a young girl lost her mother, and little brother. The girl escapes her life with her father to work as a mechanic. Her father finds her and asks if she is happy

Are you happy here? I start work hours before the lights cycle to day. I eat lunch standing up. And if I’m lucky, I get a half-an-hour break. Every night, I am exhausted. I fall asleep before my head hits the cot. Are you happy, Juliette? I’m happy I really don’t have time to think about Mom or Jacob.

Silo Season 1 episode 4

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Work is often a way to cope and deal with trauma for many people however it does not seem to be a healthy way to deal with trauma or loss. Often times the best thing to do is get professional help when dealing with trauma or loss. The emotions surrounding trauma and loss are huge and life changing and shouldn’t be avoided or faced alone. There is no shame in reaching out for help.

Facing our feelings head on is scary but it is also healthy and good for a our mental health. Avoidance makes the trauma and loss worse and can do damage to our mental health.

Facing our demons is not easy but it is possible.

If you or someone you know needs help and live in the United States they can reach out to

https://friendsforsurvival.org/

or call

(916) 392-0664

Toll Free: (800) 646-7322

The most important thing is that they/you get help and in a healthy way work through this.

What does that mean??

Daily writing prompt
Are you a leader or a follower?

I sat in a meeting with three other managers and the director and read the document twice while the meeting went on. I could hear the Director read through the document but I was stuck on one sentence that I didn’t understand.

The manager will cultivate a leader to leader environment.

“What is a leader to leader environment?” I asked and was answered with, “I don’t know.” I left the meeting on a mission. I needed to know what leader to leader meant. I found out and my mission ended with a book that the Director had all the managers read.

The book is called “Turn the Ship Around” by David Marquet. Basically the writer outlines his experience as a leader of a submarine. He realized that he could not have a crew that would just listen and follow every order that would be dangerous and he had to cultivate leaders at every level.

So I told that story and mentioned a pretty great book (it really is good and worth reading) to say that I am a leader and a follower and everyone should be. There was this quote when I was a kid that always bugged me.

Too many chiefs

Leadership is guidance, inspiration, motivation, and leadership has to come from within. There is this concept of “buy in” that everyone on team needs to have for a project to be completely successful. Buy in is the willingness to participate in an endeavor. No one can force buy in from a team member this has to be inspired and motivated.

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Leaders are needed at every level in a team and the top level should be more of a position of service for all other levels that are the leaders.

I have also heard “Lead follow or get out of the way” Lets change this to Lead yourself and help others.

That is what I will be hearing all day now

Daily writing prompt
What does freedom mean to you?

I won’t let you down
I will not give you up
Gotta have some faith in the sound
It’s the one good thing that I’ve got

Freedom
Freedom
Freedom
You’ve gotta give
For what you take

Freedom
Freedom
Freedom
You’ve gotta give
For what you take

I loved all the George Michaels songs growing up and now the song Freedom is going to be stuck in my head all day. Freedom! Freedom! Man such a good song.

Freedom is pretty interesting concept. I was 17 years old when I decided I wanted freedom from my parents tyrannical rule (total joke there I had it made honestly, dad and mom only bugged me when I got out of line otherwise they supported me 100 %), looking for freedom from the parents and the town I grew up oin I joined the US Army.

I was told when to wake up, when to eat, when to go to sleep, where and how to do all that as well, so not much freedom. I finished up my contract with the US Army and entered the civilian world a free man. A free man with a family and bills to pay. To pay the bills I got a job and started school. The workplace bosses told me when to arrive at work when I could eat and how to do that.


No one is truly free, they are a slave to wealth, fortune, the law, or other people restraining them from acting according to their will.

Euripides
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At one point in my career I had a very long commute that involved getting on and off the highway. Everyday at an intersection I would see a person with a cardboard sign asking for money. I felt bad for this person and if I had any cash I would try to give it to him.

There is legislation popping up now all over the United States that has made it illegal to be homeless. The cost of not working in a capital society seems to be homelessness and relying on others who are working or living “off the gird” like Thoreau did while writing Walden. Making it illegal to live this way seems to be an infringement of freedom.

For me freedom is the ability for me to make a choice and live with it.

Just 1% a day

Daily writing prompt
What’s one small improvement you can make in your life?

There was a CEO at a company I worked for that always encouraged everyone in the company by mentioning how powerful and impactful getting better at something just 1 % a day was.

If you improve only 1% a day, you will 37 times better at the end of the year!

I recall this quote almost every year on January 1st when I make my new years resolutions. I have actually accomplished some of my new years goals in the years past and I am currently (1% a day at least) working on accomplishing this years new years resolutions.

1% is a small improvement, but it adds up overtime. I have lived with a family for more time than I have lived the single life now and we have a lot of stuff. A small improvement that may make a huge difference in my life might be to declutter. Everyday I will choose to take some thing out of my home and donate to charity or throw away.

“Don’t own so much clutter that you will be relieved to see your house catch fire.”

Wendell Berry, Farming: A Hand Book (poetry)
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What does it take

If you live in the United States of America chances are high that you will live in the same economic status that you and your parents are born into. The American dream of rising out of poverty or even moving up in the ones socioeconomic status is highly unlikely. In the United States, less than 50% of children born in the 80’s will out earn their parents.. I find this statistic interesting and a complete bummer. Why has social mobility gone down every year since the 1940’s?

That is a big question with lots of moving parts. society is a group of people living together in an ordered community and there are lots of parts in that society that can and do influence socioeconomic mobility in that society. Guess what is currently the number one driving force behind socio economic mobility in a society?

Did you guess? What was your answer? Was it crime or lack of? Was it education? Was it natural resources or access to them? Well the answer is (insert drum roll here)…. COMMUTE TIME TO WORK!! Yeah my mind is also blown something that simple seems to make all the difference. Long commute times work to keep society in poverty. Lack of mobility creates a lack of socio economic mobility.

So what can we do? I quit a job with an hour and a halve commute two years ago and traded for a 10 minute commute and have never been happier. I understand that not everyone has that luxury though. Stronger, good communities provide robust public transportation. Good communities are made up of citizens who participate in them. I know you are tired form the long commute but if you can get active and attend local town hall and county meetings, this is where the public transportation is often shelved in the United States of America and this is where you, the good citizen, needs to be heard. “Hey guys who are already in the upper class, if we shelf this transportation plan, no one will reach the status you are at now.”

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Cities cannot afford to not have good, clean and safe transportation. It is possible and will happen eventually don’t you want to be able to say that you drove this change?

Left.. no Right.. Ok Straight Ahead..

Daily writing prompt
What gives you direction in life?

The Apple watch has a compass app on it and the app has an amazing feature called back track. The app will trace your route as you walk/hike and then play that route back to you so that you can get back to where you started.

When I was in the US Army Global positioning Satellites were first being brought on line and used to do the same thing as the watch and the back track option. I have a very poor sense of direction and because of that I have been on some Amelia Bedelia style adventures. I have never been so lost though that I have not found my way home.

What then is home?

Home is where the Heart is

Pliny the Elder

My heart is with my loved ones, my immediate and extended family is my heart and home. We may fight and disagree but we have and I really believe will always love each other and that is what gives me direction is love.

1 Corinthians 13:4–8a (ESV) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. 

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Love is the promise that guides me

Dan Fogelberg
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Dedicated to…

In Europe there are many cathedrals. Buildings that are intrinsically art. Huge towering beautiful masterpieces reaching upwards and outwards. The cathedrals are religious monuments built by the community for centuries.

On our vacation my wife and I visited Duomo di Milano. The Duomo took 601 years to complete. Over 70 Architects worked on the church and countless craftsmen spent their lives building something. The church is huge,. Italy’s largest and the city of Milan basically is built around this church but, why? What would compel someone to dedicate so much time and effort and many would never see the end of the project? The easy answer is God, but more nuanced answer would be hope, faith, duty, love. So… God yes.

A question I think that deserves answering is, What is God? The answer is personal and telling of the person who answers it.

The whole community came together and built t a dedicate the monument to God. A place where people can commune worship and admire beautiful art and culture. Art, culture, science and love that has to be part of God right? If your God doesn’t have those facets what does that say about you?

I live in the United States and here there is a movement from many religious people to ban books, take away rights and freedoms of minorities and I can’t help but think that the religious folks doing this are worshipping such a small God. How can this be the actions of a God of hope and power?

God should inspire, uplift and make us build things.

If

Daily writing prompt
Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

In middle school I was made to memorize Rudyard Kipling’s poem If. Honestly I no longer have it memorized, and I could not recite this poem when I was made to memorize it and I can not recite the poem now but, like all great art work the poem inspired and inspires me now. I can tell you that this poem makes me want to work harder and help my family, friends, community and strangers. The poem makes me take more responsibility for my actions and inactions. This poem reminds me that being an adult is about endurance and virtue and not for the faint of heart. I think of this poem often and truly love it.

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If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

If – Rudyard Kipling

After that first cup

Daily writing prompt
When do you feel most productive?

My favorite place to be is anywhere my wife is, other than those places I truly enjoy the grocery store or market right after the store or market has first opened up. There is a fresh feeling in the air. All the vendors have their food and wares out for purchase and the most fresh, ripe and best are prominently displayed. The employees are well rested and the food is freshly picked and washed. The grocery store or market is great in the early morning. There is hope that comes from seeing and buying something that was just harvested.

My favorite time of the day is the morning. I love that hopeful fresh feeling. At work when I can, I try to get most of my “hard” work done in the morning. I drink my coffee and attack the day. After morning is over the rest of the day is spent helping others and getting ready for tomorrow.

After my first cup of coffee I can do anything! Oh and so can you!